i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
