I got chris browned last night
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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