Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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