My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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