First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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