im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
