Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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