it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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