If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
