Dual....:-)
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Randomize
