So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
