he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
