Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
