i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
