Porn is love you can see.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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