I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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