Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
