dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
