This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
