ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
