I want to have your abortion
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
