oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
