you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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