Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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