You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
