Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
