I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
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I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
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Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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