Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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