My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
only if we run a train.
done.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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