If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
