how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
