I CAN MOONWALK!
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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