Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
