got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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