you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
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I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
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Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I think your dad took our porno
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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