she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
