at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
last night I used snow as a chaser
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
