i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
