if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
