I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
We don't watch enough power rangers
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
