It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
