I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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