it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
