I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
