She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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