ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
