Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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