Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
