is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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