Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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