i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
