summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
