Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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