The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
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