who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
