I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
