Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
The struggles of a small town man whore
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
