Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
