i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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