just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
