I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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