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let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
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