Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
