Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
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then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
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It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol