woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?