Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?