He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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