is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
