Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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