I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
