let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
