i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
